Sexual dysfunction: Treatment for men and women – Part 2

Communicating About Erectile Dysfunction

“Are you experiencing ed’?” asked the television commercial late one night. Listening more closely , I thought, “What next? Is there nothing left unspoken these days. First there were the midnight Viagra ads, then Cialis and Levitria.

“What is ed?” I remember when ed was the abbreviation for “education” or short for Edward. But erectile dysfunction (ed)? Is that the female equivalent of that wonderful old term “frigid” so inappropriately applied to women who wouldn’t put out when men thought they should? Or when spouses weren’t “getting it” as often as they thought they needed?

Erectile dysfunction. Does that mean they can’t, don’t know how or maybe just don’t want to any more, but rather than be called “impotent” are in some cases risking their lives trying to bring back the old times.

Millions of dollars have been spent on developing medications to help men try to regain the prowess of their youth. If the same amounts were spent on helping women with “od”-short for orgasmic dysfunction-what a pleasure that would be for everyone.

Talking to male friends who have been using some of the “ed” medications, all report although they had great expectations, none of the drugs return them to their 20-something level of functioning.

Taking into account the side effects of the various medications that play havoc with male sexual functioning, men now have to worry about the 501 additional side effects listed at the end of the drug ads. Add to that the additional stress of worrying about when to take the drugs to achieve that “perfect timing” or to “catch that window of opportunity.” And then, to add insult to injury, there is the dreaded threat of that 4 hour unwanted, yet probably secretly desired, condition requiring medical intervention. Could that be part of the reason for the increased waiting time in emergency rooms these days?

In younger years the question was when do you apply the contraceptive? Now the question is when do you take the pill or administer the shot? Either way spontaneity is out and the need for comfortable communication and mutual consideration is paramount.

There is a bit of irony listening to men talking about their struggles with “ed”. Some realize how much they have relied on youth and nature to make “it” happen. With aging it seems men may need more of what women have always needed, tenderness, understanding, variety and-heaven forbid!-”communication”.

Men who learned at a young age that pleasing their partner is what pleases them, seem to fare better in the bedroom as they age than those whose younger years were spent taking care of their own needs at the expense of their partners. They seem less vested in standing up and pounding on their own chest with clenched fists, instead they receive greater pleasure in the satisfaction of their partner.

For others whose self-worth and ego strength depend on proving themselves in the bedroom, “ed” can take it’s toll. Those from the old school of all for one and one for all, who are struggling with “ed”, may find it’s time to recognize what they have been missing all these years. Yes, although working parts and that 4-5 second ultimate feeling is still hoped for, in the over all picture of growing older is it really that important? Maybe more men will begin to recognize what some already know, that meeting their partner halfway or even more in the bedroom might enlighten them on just how much they have truly missed out on over the years. Perhaps the best is yet to come!